A Peaceful Farewell Born of Confidence

The red rock and sands of the Kanab, UT valley crunched under the van tires as I gave three short honks of the horn.  

Margie's window was rolled down so that she could both extend her arm out toward our daughter Esther and be heard as she called out a final farewell. 

It would be almost a full week before we could hold, interact, and enjoy our oldest child.  For some, 6 days does not seem that long, but for us, it felt like we were losing a part of us as we drove away leaving her standing in our sister's driveway.  At just 10 years old, this would be the first time she spent more than a day or two away from home.

The three honks have become a tradition for us whenever Margie or I go anywhere.  It represents the kind phrase, "I love you" and leaves a lasting impression in our minds of the love we have for each other.

As we drove away, I did a quick self-check of my emotions.  "What am I feeling right now?" I wondered to myself.  Anxiety, fear, relief, sorrow, happiness? What?

Peace.  That's the first thing that hit me.  "I'm feeling peaceful."  

I lingered on that thought.  Why was I feeling peaceful at letting my 10 year old daughter go down to Mesa, AZ for 6 days for a summer camp where she would be exploring remote caves in the Red Mountains02, learning to water ski on large reservoirs, hiking rattlesnake infested desert trails, and doing service projects outside in the blistering 104 degree summer heat?  

On the surface, it did not make sense... but a quick look at my dear Margie told me she was feeling the same thing.

Why?

I thought about that during the 4.3 hour drive home and discussed it with Margie. 

Confidence - that was the source of our peaceful feelings.  

It was a confidence born of daily routines in our life that have instilled in our daughter a solid knowledge of right and wrong.  More than that, this young girl was proven in converting information into wisdom and keeping her head about her in difficult situations.  And while she is pure in heart and mind, she is by no means naive.  She knows that evil and dangers are lurking out there in the big, wide world, but her faith in an all-powerful God allows her to face it with unwavering courage.  

In our journey toward the "Land of Family Greatness", we have discovered that a simple daily routine filled with some essentials - not just good things - is making all the difference in how our children face the world.

Here is what our morning looks like each day.  I'll give it to you with very little commentary and leave it to you to see if there is value in this:

• 6:00 am - wake up, get morning outdoor chores done (around here this includes milking the goats and getting feed for the goats, chickens, and horses.)
• 6:30 am - breakfast
• 7:00 am - Family scripture and prayer time.  This is not just reading a few verses and call it good... this is typically a pretty in-depth discussion (sometimes we get hung up on half a verse, spending 30 or 40 minutes applying it to our lives... VERY rewarding)
• 7:45 am - morning indoor chores (this is basically cleaning the kitchen and house - they've each got their areas of stewardship and it goes pretty smooth)

In the summer, the rest of the day includes a wide range of activities and during the school year they are off to school.

Now, here is what happens every night...

• 7:30 pm - get the PJ's on and head down to bed.  
• 8:00 pm - tuck everyone in and spend a few minutes with each child. "What was the best part of your day? What did you learn? How did (fill in the blank) go for you today?" etc... If I'm not too tired, I let them pick a song and I sing them each something - usually a hymn, but sometimes a funny song that gets everyone laughing...
• 8:30 pm - "Zip the lip" time - everyone is quiet now, but me.  I lay down in the hallway and read to them.  First, I take 10-15 minutes and read a scripture story or something else morally and spiritually meaningful to them. Often, I'll ask questions and we briefly discuss it.  Then, it is time for a novel. Over the years, during those evening reading sessions, we have enjoyed books like, "Swiss Family Robinson", "The Secret Garden", all 12 of the Elsie Dinsmore books, "Five Little Peppers", all 7 Chronicles of Narnia, "Robin Hood", and many others.  What a joy this has been... and what a treasure of wealth we have acquired from these classics!
• 9:30 pm - One final drink of water, a good night kiss, and lights out.

Peace - that is what we felt in sending our 10 year old off into the big, wide world for the first time.  

 

They're Raising Greatness In Me...

I only remotely heard my youngest son (that's Brigham, he's 3yrs)  come in the first time.  

Faintly, through a fog of deep and very heavy sleep, I heard a little voice saying, "Mommy, I had a bad dream."  Actually, he doesn't know what that means, but it is just as good of an excuse as any to come into our room at 2:03 am in the morning.

"Did you say a prayer?", I heard Margie mumble.

"No"

"Ok, let's say a prayer.  Heavenly Father will help you sleep good."

Then in quiet, sweet tones a simple prayer was offered and then little feet pitter-paddering out of our room and back down the hall.  

I knew what was coming next, but hoped against hope that it wasn't going to happen.

But, it was no use.  Just as I was dipping back into my deep slumber, I heard those tiny feet sliding across soft carpet down the dark hallway.

You see, of all the lovely things we have taught our 3 year old, tucking himself in bed in the middle of the night is not one of them.

"Daddy, my bed is messed up. Will you help me?"

Knowing there was no use in fighting it, I rolled out of bed, making a mental note to myself to have that lesson on "tucking yourself in bed" first thing tomorrow morning.

As I reached out into the darkness for my son, I felt a precious, trusting hand already stretched out waiting... expecting... me to reach out to him.  There was something in his simple and unwavering confidence in that act of reaching out to me that sent a thrill of excitement and pleasure through my whole frame. 

"He believes in me! My boy, believes in me", was the thought that flashed through my mind.

In a minute, I had him snugly tucked back in bed and before I got to the bedroom door he was sound asleep.  

"I love you, Brigham", I whispered softly into the night.

I couldn't help but linger in the doorway a little longer.  There was something magical about the glow of the soft night light as it gently illuminated his cubby cheeks and pure features. Enormous swells of love, and compassion, and care swept over me as I looked on.

I thought to myself, "I bet, in a way, this is how Heavenly Father must feel about us. He must thrill when we approach him.  He must rejoice when we plead for help. He surely is elated when He can serve, bless and comfort us."  

And then another thought came to me. I realized that in raising this boy to the great man that he would someday become, he and God were working on raising me to greatness as well.  

In that brief encounter with my son at 2:03 am, I had overcome impatience, my selfish desire for sleep, my frustrations at his inabilities, and petty thoughts of "why doesn't Margie get up with him."  

Simultaneously, my patience, compassion, care, and love had deepened.  In short, I had become a better man, father, and husband because my 3 year old son had a "bad dream" and reached out to his daddy for comfort.  

As parents, while we raise these children to become great future men and women, we should never forget that they are in cohorts with God to raise greatness in us.  

Is this family thing an amazing plan, or what?

Were They Born for Greatness?

In my wanderings through different self-help seminars, books and lectures, I have discovered some remarkable information about the times and seasons that we live in.  

As a daddy of 7 (almost 8) wonderful children (yes, all from the same wife, and no there are not any twins... just thought I'd get that out of the way!)  I am constantly on the search for way to be a better dad, better husband, better man. This pursuit has lead me down some wonderful paths and I have learned a great deal about how to raise children.  I don't hesitate to say that our children are not perfect - that's because they are human and have absorbed a good number of my errors.  But, that aside, I also don't hesitate stating that, by most standards - Godly and worldly - my dear children are rising to levels of greatness earlier and faster than I ever obtained... though they still have a ways to go before they catch up to my dear Margie.

It has been said that each generation faces their own set of challenges.  I believe that to be true.  But, a quick review of history shows that some generations have faced much larger challenges than all the rest.  Consider the Founding Fathers and the enormous challenges they faced.  They rose to that challenge and created a type of government that had NEVER been created before in the history of mankind.  Amazing.  And what about the men and women that came through World War II?  They thwarted a great evil and rescued us all from a hideous, cruel and  violent tyrant.  And had the boys in blue not done their duty, my colored friends may still yet be confined to live under the whip and labor under the taskmaster.  

Looking at these times of crisis, it is clear to see that there are definitive patterns in history.  It is that pattern that I have become fascinated with.  It is that pattern that has spawned this blog and may yet grow into a series of books, ebooks, lectures and seminars, for I intent to expand and spread and - dare I say - proselyte?? - this message far and wide.

Let me explain...

Have you noticed that we are not living in the days of peace that many have enjoyed?  More than that, have you noticed that globally there is a tide turning and we are rapidly approaching a number of major challenges on multiple fronts.  If you are a Christian - which I am happy to confess that I am - you will recognize that many of these events are not news, but part of the course of our earth's life.  

Skipping all the details for now, suffice it say that we are coming into a serious crisis period that will likely equal... no, I should say exceed... the past challenges faced by our nation, and indeed the whole world.  If that is true (and I believe without reservation that it is) then those of us with children have an unusual duty and opportunity on our hands.  

The children of history that awake into the world just before a dreadful crisis must be stronger, brighter, endowed with more wisdom and trained to live in a different world than most generations.  They must be bold, noble, godly, firm and steadfast in their values and leadership... otherwise evil, greedy, destructive men will step in to take the reins of leadership and suppress our freedoms and our liberties and our hopes of peace.  This is precisely how Hitler came to power. WWI left a massive void within Europe and particularly within Germany, and there were no great, good leaders to step in and rebuild in positive ways.  So, Hitler - a man of enormous leadership, but zero morals -  and his Nazis entered a field ripe for cultivating and controlling.  Consider this... Hitler and Churchill were both boys and young men just prior to the global crisis.

Our children stand at that same crossroads. And their values will be fashioned in the homes and the environments that we provide for them today.  They were born for greatness - of that I am certain.  So, as parents we have a charge to both prepare them for the task at hand and embed in them a sense of morals and values so that they will not only assume leadership, but they will assume good leadership.

So, my friends, as parents today, ours is an opportunity to build a new world - to raise greatness in our homes so that they might lift the world to greatness during a dark and troublesome period.  And like our Founding Fathers, we should understand and know that the world is watching us and history is poised to record with sharp clarity if we faithfully fulfilled our duties... or if we shunned them.  

This blog and the other resources that I will either create or recommend from time to time, are dedicated to raising greatness... to raising children that will reshape our world of chaos.